A New Step In A Better Direction

After long withstanding contemplation, I have decided what I want to do with the rest of my life. I am going back to school, for Homeland Security. I am going to see about getting a government job, working with people to dtop the terrorist threats and to put an end to not knowing where they will hit next. Help people to be prepared for anything that can come up. I have studued Al Qaeda and I know a lot about how they operate and what they want. I can do anything I put my heart and mind to and I know that. I just hope that I can make my husband proud of me and proud to have me as a wife. The baby should be here soon enough, The waiting is getting insane. I can't wait to see her and hold her and have her here with us. Health wise I could be better but I could also be worse. Its crazy really. Mark's compay has deployed. They are gone for a year or more. We are still waiting on orders to move.I hope they come soon. I wouldn't mind going home. Ah well we will see I guess.

Life has its us and its downs

I am attempting to turn the pages to a new chapter in life. I have always wanted to help people, and now I have been given the oppertunity to do just that. I have been signed up for the Advocacy Program through the American Diabetes Association. I will be able to speak to people about the everyday issues that arise when diagnosed. The fears and the disbelief, then the denial and many other stages of coping with it. I am also getting myself in tighter control with this. That way I am as healthy as I possibly can be not just for my sake but for my childs as well. I am proud to say that between the fundraisers and the meetings I am going to try my best and fight my hardest to get things in order for others and get things done as far as the legislation is concerned. I am a fighter and I can take it to where ever I want to. I can and I know this now. So all that is left to say is I will. It is an honor that the Association has given me and I will do my best.

Why Now???

Well over the last few days, snow and ice have kept us from the doctors so I have no clue what is going on with my body or the baby. I have been experiencing labor pains, and they are becoming more and more frequent. I just don't want to have her before its ok to. I want to know that she is going to be ok. Christmas is a couple dayse away and I am still depressed about it. Its my first holiday away from my father, I miss him and the rest of the family. It kinda sucks. I am starting school courses through an online, and mail based college. I am getting the writing degree Ihave wanted for so long. I am hoping I pass with flying colors, and that I can do well enought o transfer to another school, and finish a major degree system. If I can.

The Hardest Thing At the moment

Aside from dealing with pregnancy and the ups and downs of it, I am writing again. I have courses I am taking to get a degree in creative writing. I am trying so hard, I want to get my stuff published, its just a matter of... am I good enough? Can I do this? Who knows. Of course my self esteem hasn't ever been that high. I have been working on it, and My husband is trying to help me with it all. I just find it so hard. I am looking at having my daughter early, The way I feel I think somthing is wrong, but at times when I relax enough its all fine. God only knows I guess.